40 Days of Nouaira

Today marks the 40th day of my confinement and 40 days Nouaira in our life. Yeah, I guess time flies but it still feels a little slow to me.

She had her 2nd jab of Hep B immunity dosage on the 12th. Everything went smoothly.

It's Ramadhan now. Second day of puasa. Obviously I am not fasting. Postpartum does not permit me to fast. I was hoping it ended earlier but alas, I could only wish. It's going to be another direful waiting game to wait for it to dry up. Sangatlah tidak mahu ganti puasa banyak sangat. Malas.

In 2 days time Nouaira is 6 weeks old. So far she can smile and laugh like a champion. Suka sangat ketawa masa tidur and sometimes in the middle of the night she'd giggle loudly and I'd be freaked out. Her eyes can focus and follow object without moving her head. I bought Lamaze wrist and socks rattles hoping she'd discover her hands and feet soon. But maybe that won't be for another month or two. She can hold up her head well for more than 10 seconds. She still hates lying down on her own. I don't know what to do about that for now. She still can't fall asleep on her own. Nak kena timang sampai terlena, then rock, then hold on lap THEN after a while baru boleh letak on her mattress. Manja much? If she's very sleepy the whole procedure takes a few minutes but if she's not then the timang-timang part takes a while sampai lenguh bahu and tangan.

Nouaira is a grazer. She drinks little but frequent. The most she would take is 4oz but not in one feeding. 2oz first then rest about 10 to 30 minutes then another 2oz. Most of the time she finishes 2oz and nap for about an hour and half. Other times she drinks one and half plus another one and half, sleeps for about 2 to 3 hours. But her sleeping and drinking habit is still unpredictable. Yeah, they say routine only starts after the 3rd month or so. I've got to be patient, but it is kind of driving me crazy especially the part where ALL I do is look at her, feed her, change her and try to put her to sleep. Sabar..sabar..trying not to get baby blues get the better of me tapi kecundang jugak a few times. So at those times, I let Mr.Hubster and Mother take care of her while I sleep or rest.

I put her in cloth diaper in the daytime. So far I have 17 diapers in my stash and of various brands. I can't pick out a favourite just yet but the first pick would be the Rumparooz. The least is the Grovia, probably because it's not a "stay dry" diaper. Others I have are Bumgenius 3.0, 4.0 & Freetime, Charlie Banana, Itti Bitti Tutto, Lunatots 3.0 & AI2, Baby Wizard, Blueberry NB, QQBaby, Baby Beehinds and Autumnz. I am currently waiting for a one size Swaddlebee Simplex. I find that cloth diapering is easy so far. For now we only need 3 disposable diapers per day. I guess jimat la jugak.

Due to breasfeeding failure, yes I finally have to admit it, that I have failed salah satu hak anak, Nouaira is on formula. I do not want to go into all the gruesome details for now. Currently, she's on Isomil sebab takut allergy reaction but nak tukar soon because 1) can't afford susu mahal, and 2) need to introduce lactose supaya tak develop allergy to it.

So that's all the update for now. I am hoping that the next update would be about Nouaira's first outing. Yeah, I have a bad case of want-to-go-out-itis. Haritu pun dah dapat keluar, just to go watch Batman : The Dark Knight Rises, which was awesome by the way! Here's hoping! :)

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Wordless Wednesday - Nouaira at Day 1.

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15 days.

It has been 15days and this is the first chance to actually update my blog. And that's thanks to Blogger-droid app, I don't have the will to switch on the laptop.

Little One is here. It's a GIRL!! Well, it was suspected from the scans but both hubby and I wouldn't want to say for sure because the chances till the baby came was still 50-50, right?

I had the bloody show on Monday (11th June) morning. Hubby worked the night shift the night before so I convinced him to sleep and let my parents take me to Hospital Sg. Buloh. So I was admitted around 10.30a.m. I requested a wheelchair since I had trouble walking so I was sent to be checked at the high risk patient. Since I manage to walk a bit, I was sent to the normal waiting area. At this time I had very minimal contractions and the doc said I was only 3cm.

And from then on it was the waiting game. The beds were full so I had to sit in a chair. I was checked a few times but still stuck at 3. At around 8pm I manage to get a bed. That night sleep was unrestful. My contractions were still mild buy they came at 5 mins interval. There was a lot of screaming coming from a Bangladeshi woman who wasn't even in active labor. My roomm.ates and I swore that her screams sounded like a machine..sort of like a loud vacuum. Until we found out from someone else it was a real human scream.

That next morning, Tuesday (12 June), I had nasi lemak ayam rendang that Mr.Hubster brought. Probably my last meal of the day and the last meal before pantang. Around 10.30a.m, I was minding my own business..walking trying to dilate..when suddenly a nurse came and said "Aaa..awak..saya dah ada labour room utk awak..get ready ye."

I said to her, "Err..tapi saya tak sakit pun," which is the truth. There were others who was is more pain and dilated further than me.

"Takpe..awak dah tunggu lama kan." And she left.

So I was sent to Labour Room 8 at 11.00 a.m. My water was broken by a doctor. A tube inserted to make me pee. I don't think I ever been in a situation where I felt so helpless and embarrassed. I was put on oxytocin drip at 12.30 and shot with painkiller to help ease the contraction pain.

Between 1-3 p.m everything was groggy. I was in and out of sleep. In fact I think I was left alone for most part of the duration. Nothing exciting. I heard people from other rooms..screams..grunts..nurses and doctors giving motivational cheers for the mother-to-bes..I hope I was spared the humiliation. I prayed that my birthing experience was quick and quiet.

And Allah heard my prayers. At 3.15pm, I woke up to find the drip needle inserted at the back of my right hand had come undone. I called for a nurse and she came and remedy the situation. My hand had become swollen so the drip had to change sides. 2 doctors came to check on me. I was only 7cm open. They poke (what other word to use??) around inside to help open the way. By then the contractions were strong and I had to grip the bedsides to maintain myself.

At 4.30 I was begging the doctors to let me push but they said sikit lagi je because belum 10cm. Erghh..the contractions were hard. I pushed gently bit by bit because instinct told me to. I tried very hard to control myself and proud to say that I did not scream one bit, not even while pushing.

At 4.50 I told the doctor (one had left so there was only one there and an observing student had come in), I was ready. She looked troubled, I can tell she wasn't very experienced but so what..I was having the baby and waiting for no one! She wanted to wait for the other doctor but I told her I got to push now, so dia pun get ready..the student pun tolong jugak.

Raised my legs, hold on to them and start pushing..with about 4 strained pushes, my baby came into the world. I could see her, it was priceless! It was recorded that the little one was born at 5.02pm. The doctor was kinda amazed because it was a quick andc easy birth given the baby was a bit on the large size, 3.83kg. I thought the worst was over but the process of taking out the placenta was more hurtful. Turns out the placenta was huge too. My first thought when looking at it was, "macam limpa/hati lembu". Then came the stitches. Doctor kata sikit saja but she took her time, doctor baru la katakan..nak careful.

Then Mr.Hubster came in to azan and iqamat the baby. Oh,yeah..I told hubby not to come in during labour. I don't think he can take it hehe. And I was right, to this day dia bersyukur dia tak masuk because masuk time after stitches tengok darah everywhere pun dia dah pucat-pucat. Huhuhu..

So after tahnik, nurse hantar naik atas to ward. It was around 7 p.m. Guard was making rounds asking visitors to leave. So hubby and mother left baby and I alone with 3 other mothers. The nurse came once to check on me. The baby nursed the whole night! Hospital Sg Buloh does not have a first class ward, we already enquired. I was put in 2nd class because 3rd was already full.

The next day was discharged after lunch. The total bill was RM19!! Hahaha...murah giler..I was not fussy about where to give birth..but bila tengok bil macam syukur gila tak pegi private or even full paying government. The birth was normal and an easy one..why pay more than 2k right?

So that is how my darling daughter, now named Nouaira was born to this world. Today is her 15th day. There's been ups and downs but so far I am thankful to Allah for this precious gift. Anak itu anugerah dan tanggungjawab.

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38wks 4ds

It seems that friends that has their EDD around mine has all given birth. Yikes! Am definitely not ready. Stay baking for as long as you want ok, LO? I'm pretty sure that there's a research somewhere that says the longer the better the LO will turn out. After all, all the Muslim scholars pun selalu ibunya bersalin lewat. So, lagi ok la kan kalau past due date..heheh..tapi yang tak ok I think nanti kena induce..sigh..leceh la pulak.

I know it's weird. Not that I'm not anxious to meet the LO but I do not want to feel rushed. That's all. Plus, I have other reasons that I can't say here.

Aside from baby business...I've been playing with bread. Baked my first bread not 2 weeks ago. Did another loaf a few days later and a pan of raisin buns. Bad news is I can't find my Kenwood Dough Hook anywhere! So I've been hand kneading the doughs which is soooo tiring! Especially kneading the bun dough. I am itching to make sausage rolls but having second thoughts now that the hook is missing. The hook is huge, I can't believe it's missing. Hope my mother didn't threw it out by accident. That part alone could cost hundreds. Mahal tul la Kenwood parts ni kan. I wonder how much the meat mincer attachment is...I would really love one. And a breadmaker. Hehehe..but breadmakers are expensive!! So no hope there.

In my opinion, social networks are new ways for people to show off. There are a lot of show-offy people out there on the net. Somehow masa zaman blogging was the hype, it doesn't seem that bad..maybe because social networks are more "instant". Several weeks ago, I came across an article in a newspaper about social networks being one of the factors of depression. Ye lah, konon-konon tengok life orang lain begitu hebat dan gah, sendiri terus rasa depressed. Some people guna defense line.."oh we are just sharing our hapiness/whatever". Tapi please la..we all know kalau ada riak sekelumit pun terus dah dapat dosa so hidup siapa yang lagi best, kan? Speaking of it, I am grateful that Mr. Hubster likes to tegur and practically juga suka mem-ban on personal pictures. Memang susah nak dapat suami macam ni. I realized that as a Muslim, I am bound to restrictions and those restrictions are good for me. So yeah, my husband ambil peduli if I put pictures yang nampak aurat, Alhamdulillah. Pity for those yang tak dapat suami macam I haha..ok perasan pulak.

36weeks ++

At the moment Little One is playing bongos in LO's little sac. Probably imsoniac just like the mother.

9months now. It's anytime now but I am praying hard that LO comes exactly on the dot. Yes, ada ulterior motive yang sedikit spiteful but I can't help to feel a little slighted. Tak pernah tanya apa-apa pun kan? Jadi sebab tu la tak tahu. I've told them before so kalau tak ingat and rasa tak cukup penting untuk ingat, it is definetely not my fault.

Anyway, now it's weekly check up. Boring. I really hate the long queue tapi apakan daya.

So these last few weeks I am trying to think of what else to eat..things that I'll miss desperately later on. I plan to pantang seriously. No ice, no cold water! Hopefully kuat la azam ni. I'm going to miss Milo Sejuk, ice blended, sirap ais and ice creams! So I guess this weekend nak Coffee Bean ;)

Prep stuff..almost everything on the list dah ada. Crib tinggal nak pasang. I'm planning on cloth diapering, have gotten 17 sets already various brands. Nak start as soon as possible but realistically that'll be after pantang la. Harapnya rezeki untuk breastfeed pun cukupla untuk 2 tahun, extra pun takpe. I really want to save as much as we can bringing up our child.

At the end ni pun rezeki Mr. Hubster bertambah with the photography job. I made him take a job that's just the day before my due date and the job is in Kedah! Tak apa la kan..rezeki..after all, I'm the one giving birth, he only need to be there right after for the azan. Anyway, labour usually long process..doa je la dia sempat sampai dengan selamat.

So I guess that's all for the moment..

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This Pain

I have This Pain in my left ribs that won't go away. It has been there on and off for the past 7 months and now entering my 34th week, it's here to stay.

Yes, This Pain is constantly there. I do not know how to explain it. It feels like heartburn only worse. It feels like someone is pulling at my ribcage but doing it excruciatingly slowly. It feels like there's a tear somewhere inside.

I'm pretty sure Little One's foot is not wedge there. Doesn't feel like it. But I might be wrong.

I am trying hard not to complain about This Pain to anyone at all because I know it's pretty useless. I will try to bear this silently after I am done writing this. There's only give or take 6 weeks left so buck up, right?

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Week 33

The first trimester was such a crawl. It felt long because I knew I was pregnant the minute I missed my period. I just can't wait to go for my ultrasound because I wanted so badly for the baby to be ok.

The 2nd trimester flew by. In fact I can hardly remember anything significant happened except that I can feel the baby, actually feel the baby moving strongly in me and that's profound. The nausea also stopped, which made life much, much easier. Although I do remember my rib cage and heartburn bothers me a lot (still does!).

Third trimester. Things feel slow again. My ribs and heartburn is even worse now. I can't sit for a long period of time without it acting out. Can't walk too long too, if not ya rabbi backache!! Baby is so active at nights. My tummy keep moving and vibrating. Sometimes it tickles and sometimes it hurts. Some of the time it just feels akward. I get tired easily too, breathless.

Prep? I guess we've bought all the necesseties. So, currently I am broke because I've stop working. Just can't cope with the workload. Probably start again in September. Hope I can find the equilibrium.

The 3D scans proved worthless as baby would not show a peep. I guess it shall remain a surprise. We haven't decide on a boy's name yet. Hubby is smitten with one girl name. I am still open to option. Malas nak cari saja.

What else? I guess that's all for now. Oh, yeah..I still haven't pack for the hospital. In fact, we still haven't narrow down where to give birth. I don't mind that much. Mana-mana macam sama saja. Honestly, kalau masuk wad kelas tiga pun tak kisah. I just want it to be over quickly hehe.

Ok, that is it. Will touch base some other time.

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Womb hi-jacker. ;)

Ever since the start I have trouble sleeping at night. Sleep just won't come.
There's this discomfort that I can't put my finger on when Mr. Hubby asked,"what's wrong?".
Plus, my ribs especially the left one hurts real bad sometime. I think it's way too early for the rib pains. I read the usual circumstances when this happen is when the baby wedge their foot near the ribs and occurs mainly in the third trimester.
I envy Mr.Hubby because he is such a easy sleeper. Practically can fall asleep anytime and unlike me, he enjoys afternoon naps. I feel afternoon naps are a waste of time..hehehe..I love lying and lazing around in bed but that's just about it.

Strong quickening now. Sometimes it tickles and startles me. Hubby has yet to feel a strong kick. I always encourage him to touch but I also felt there was reluctance in his part. Beats me. Oh, but I don't like it when other people touch me. The other day my sister touched me commenting my bump was showing, I felt a bit offended. I do not like being touched. Even when the nurse does it on my routine check ups. I get all tense.

Have yet to start any shopping. I'd like to do another ultrasound and see if we can take a peek whether it's a he or she. Either is quite fine with me. Just that it'd be boring to just shop just in neutral colours, right?
There's so many decisions to make and from the way I see it it'll be mostly up to me. Men, some men, are just not that interested.

So I'm halfway there. Here's hoping I'll stay sane for the next half.